Five Rules For Life: Patrice Grell Yursik Of Afrobella

Here, my series called "Five Rules," in which I ask others to share their five rules for life. 

Few people delight me as much as Patrice Grell Yursik of Afrobella. When she created her own major purple MAC Lipglass in a shade called "All Of My Purple Life" named after the first line of Prince song "Erotic City," I knew we'd be friends for life. The Trinidad native has taught me volumes about beauty recs   ranging from the glory of Milani glitter nail polish (a budget iteration with sparkle that rivals that of Deborah Lippmann) to vintage Caribbean perfumes. And there's no one more fun with whom to kick back with a tall cocktail in Vegas. Here, Patrice's Five Rules, in her words.


These are all Trinidadian sayings, my mother’s words of wisdom, and the wisdom that’s gotten me through life thus far. Picture all of these said by this woman, in a heavy and very proper Trinidadian accent. [Ed. note: This woman's been getting lash extensions since THE EIGHTIES. She's so ahead of the curve, it's not even right. I'm obsessed with her, despite never having met her.] Repeat almost every day of your life until fully absorbed and understood.

1. Beauty is as beauty does
This is one of those things my mom used to say ad nauseum and I never got it until I went through the wringer with high school (and a few college) mean girls. Real beauty comes from within, it’s in how you treat people you interact with, how you carry yourself through life, how you behave in every circumstance. If you are a loving and kind person, that will elevate your pretty and cute all the way into beautiful, and it will radiate from inside you.

2.All skin teeth is not grin
As Trinidadian dictionary Cote-Ci Cote La explains, “All smiles are not genuine laughter. Deception is often disguised by a smile.” And often that’s been the case in my life. It’s important to be aware of the true supporters in your life, the ones with genuine smiles and not “skin teeth.” Cherish those old, true friends who are happy for your successes. Not everybody in life is going to like you or support you and it’s up to you to be ok with that. I have no real time for false friends who aren’t around when the chips are down.

3. Cut your style to suit your cloth. 
Another classic Trini saying that is so meaningful to me now that I’m in this world of beauty and fashion. You have to appreciate and know your own individuality, to know how best to dress it up and show it off to the world. I know and love my curves, the texture of my hair, the flatness of my feet and the color of my skin. Forever I will be that curvy, natural haired, brown skinned diva in flats and that is alright with me! I can’t force myself to look like or be like anyone but who I am.

4. They don’t throw stones at barren trees.
This is something my mom says to me whenever times are rough. When girls said hurtful things at school or someone left a mean comment on my blog or wrote something less than flattering about me. It’s something my mom says to make me feel better but it really is true.

5. “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.” 
OK this is cheating, but these really are the words I live by. When I was in high school, a teacher made us memorize the Desiderata, a poem by Max Ehrmann. At the time it didn’t mean much to me, but as I’ve grown older it’s become a guide for life. Whenever I’ve got a stressful situation, it helps to center me.

Thanks, Patrice! Stay tuned for more Five Rules.

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